


Butterflies

by dreaminkwaii



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Markhyuck Month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-07 18:08:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19474549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaminkwaii/pseuds/dreaminkwaii
Summary: Falling in love with someone is a gift. Getting the same kind of love back is a miracle. But that is not what Haechan think. Falling in love with your best friend is a nightmare. The fear of losing them is excruciatingly painful. In order to not lose Mark, he'd rather lock them away. Even if the feeling is slowly eating him up.





	Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> 4/7/2019 - Markhyuck month!
> 
> For those who don't know, this is just a small celebration I did for my birth month (and also the month between Markhyuck's birthdays). I'll be posting (I hope so) short fics per day based on songs that I had picked.
> 
> 〖Today's playlist〗  
> ↠ Zendaya // Butterflies

_But my heart keeps telling me the perfect lie_

_You rip me up with every last goodbye_

_I don't wanna say forever_

_It's just another now or never_

_So heart don't let me trust these butterflies_

_I don't trust these butterflies_

_'Cause they fool me every time._

The sweet fragrance of Spring gently passed through the air, refreshing the surroundings with scents such as citrus and floral, the perfect aroma to unwind and revel in one’s precious feelings. Some say Spring is when pure, innocent love is born. Some say Spring is when old flames rekindle their burned out passion for each other. The claims are true except for one tortured soul.

When the people around him tune in on radiant love songs, one boy listened to dejected forlorn songs. The lyrics felt so close to home, he could feel a pang of pain in his chest, and he held onto it in an effort to lessen the pain. If he had known liking someone impossible would cause him nothing but pain, he would have stopped his feelings years ago. Never to dwell with it, locking it and hiding it in the furthest, deepest place in his heart. The more he was aware of his strong emotion, the more it felt like his chest was ripping apart. _Stop fooling me._

Over his earphones, he could hear someone calling out to him, but he had no intention of replying to them. He wished the other would leave him alone as he ignored him. But as he is hard-headed, the other is also a persistent fellow. One of his earphones was yanked out.

“Didn’t you hear me?” A voice whispered gently in his ear, even though with his eyes closed, he could feel the former very close to him. “Or is it your way of seducing me to kiss you?”

Haechan playfully smirked as he opened his eyes, pulling on Mark’s uniform necktie. Their lips were inches from each other; brushing but never touching. “I was being subtle with the hints, or is this your way of teasing me?” There was a glint of mischief in Haechan’s eyes.

A stifled giggle soon turned into laughter erupted from beside them, amused with the scene they were watching. “Come on, Mark! You’re losing!” And it seemed they were enjoying themselves.

“Damn it,” Mark muttered under his breath, laughing along with the other guys. “Shut up guys! I’ll definitely win the next round.” Mark rolled on his back, accepting his defeat on their little game, a sigh escaped his lips. “You are too good at this, Haechan. Teach me your ways, man.”

A strained smile stretched on Haechan’s lips as he gave off a fake laugh. _I’m good at it because that is how I truly feel._ “You are way too young to know the way.”

“Shut up, I’m your senior, okay.”

“You certainly don’t feel like one.”

“Guys, lunch break is almost over. Let’s head back already.” Jaemin interrupted their friendly banter, reminding them that it was time to go back to class.

“Oh,” Mark exclaimed, checking the time with his wristwatch. “Thanks for the heads up, man. I have lab next, so I need to change classes.” Mark got up and brushed the dirt off of his school uniform. “See you guys later.”

“Later gator.” Jeno replied. “Ah, I want to get something from the school’s store before class starts. Go ahead without me you two.”

The other two nodded their reply and watched as Jeno ran across the field. They burst out laughing when Jeno stumbled on his feet and falling flat on his face.

“Let’s head back.” Haechan declared, brushing his bum of dirt and grass. “Ah man. Now I feel like drinking banana milk.” He clicked his tongue, “Should’ve asked Jen to buy them.”

“Haechan.” Jaemin called, his tone was serious, causing Haechan to turn around immediately to face his best friend. “Are you okay.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure I’m okay.” Haechan moved his arms around in circles then placed a hand on his forehead to check for his temperature. “Yup. What? Is that it? I thought it was something serious, dude.”

“If you don’t like it, you can tell them to stop, you know.”

Jaemin’s words hit Haechan hard, he tried his hardest to control his facial expression, to be seen smiling and care-free. _He’s probably being considerate. He doesn’t know about that._ But the thought of someone finding out his feelings for Mark, especially one of his best friends, causing panic to rose inside him. He tried to calm himself, tried to breathe but he felt nothing but pain with each inhale. _Say something or Jaemin will be suspicious!_ Haechan fisted his hands, mustering every single energy he had left to fight his Achilles heel. “I don’t mind.” was what came out along with a pained smile.

+

_Damn, it is hard to breathe_. Haechan barely survived the bomb Jaemin dropped on him earlier this afternoon. Jaemin’s strongest point is how observant he is but that is also his fault. Nothing escapes him. Haechan asked for the teacher’s permission to excuse himself to the infirmary, half glad the other two wasn’t in the same class as him or he wouldn’t know how to explain his condition.

When he arrived, the school’s physician was absent, leaving behind a small ‘away’ note on the door. Haechan heaved a sigh of relief. Breathing was less painful now then it was then, and with a short nap, perhaps the pain would be gone. He climbed on a vacant bed, pulling the covers on him and slept his worry away.

During his sleep, Haechan couldn’t help but dreamt of a realistic dream, like Mark was there next to him. The sweet scent of citrus mixed with flowers, the smell of wonderful Spring. The cozy warmth of his touch Haechan yearns to feel against his skin. Above all, Haechan had always been in love with Mark’s gentle, soothing voice. That voice was calling him repeatedly in his dreams, he shuddered with each time his name rolled of the latter’s lips. In a daze, his eyes fluttered open and the first thing he saw was his own reflection on Mark’s eyes. Haechan’s heart skipped a beat, a flush crawled up his neck and across his face, dipping them in shades of pink. It felt like Mark was looking at him and only him. It felt like Mark also felt the same way as he did. Convinced all of these were still a dream, Haechan wrapped his arm around Mark’s neck, pulling the latter closer to him. “I have always love you.”

“What?”

Pushing Mark away as he got up from bed, reality finally dawned on him as he gained clarity. The color on his face drained, making him look sickly and felt ghastly. It became so painful to breathe again and this time, he couldn’t even form a single word.

“Is this the continuation of our game?” Mark’s furrowed his eyebrows, puzzled at Haechan’s sudden confession. He didn’t know how to take the latter’s confession; was he mistaking him for someone else, or was he still playing their little game. But the words sounded so sincere and personal he felt the confession was for him.

“Yeah.” Haechan replied weakly. “Looks like I win again.”

Haechan was fooling no one with his fake smile, not even Mark.

+

A weekend passed since the incident but Haechan’s so-called fake confession still rang true in Mark’s heart. Mark knew it wasn’t just a game and it definitely stirred something inside him. Mark determined to confront Haechan and talk about it openly.

Even if he thought that way, Haechan was avoiding him all day, even during lunch break. For the first time, he didn’t join their obligatory lunch gathering.

“Did something happen between you and Haechan?” Jaemin finally voiced out his concern after the whole day watching Haechan ever so desperately trying to avoid Mark. “I noticed he’s been avoiding hanging out with us, or perhaps he is avoiding you.” See, nothing gets past Jaemin.

Mark let out a small sigh. “I tried to talk to him but…” Mark paused, finding the right words to say. “I guess it was just a mistake.”

“You and I know Haechan wouldn’t make mistakes.” Jaemin started, his tone was serious and for the first time, he was glad Jeno had drifted off to sleep. “That guy has always worn his heart on his sleeve. So whatever it is that happened, I’m sure it is true.” An assuring smile bloomed on Jaemin’s face, encouraging Mark to talk to Haechan again. “I can tell you feel the same way, right?”

Taken aback by Jaemin’s words, Mark sprint off to find Haechan, mouthing his thank you to one of his best friends. Mark searched for Haechan everywhere; his class, the cafeteria, the gym even every toilet on every floor of every building. But Haechan is nowhere to be seen. There was only one place Mark hadn’t look through; the rooftop.

With its entrance being restricted, no students willing to come up to the rooftop, fearing demerit and tarnishing their record. But it was the only place Mark could think of because it was his and Haechan’s secret hang out. Opening the door to outside, he saw a small, crouched figure leaning against the wall, shaking violently. “Haechan.” He called out.

Haechan snapped his head up, horror twisted his face as his eyes met with Mark’s. He tried to run away, but Mark was quick to block him, slamming the former against the wall.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“W-wow… Wall-slam… You’ve stepped up your game, Mark.” Haechan played it off, peeling himself from under Mark’s dominating position.

“You’ve long stopped considering this to be a game.”

Haechan’s breath hitched, finally the truth he had been so desperately tried to hide was bare. A small, dry laugh escaped Haechan, he felt so tired he just wanted to hear Mark said he hates him and get this over with. “Yeah, probably grossed you out, huh? Sorry about that. Don’t worry, I won’t impose my feelings on you or anything. Forget about it.”

“Stop!” Mark couldn’t control his voice; disappointment could clearly be heard.

“I-I’m sorry if it to-totally grossed you out. I-I’ll understands if y-you want nothing to do with me.” Tears pooled in Haechan’s eyes; he held his chest tightly as the pain continue to grow. “Just, please… Don’t hate me.”

“I won’t hate you!” Mark cupped Haechan’s cheeks in both of his hand, talking normally won’t get through the latter now. “In fact, it’s the opposite. I-If you don’t like it, you can push me away.” Mark said in a low hush as he inched closer to Haechan, pulling him in his embrace before finally planting a gentle kiss on Haechan’s soft, plump lips. He could feel Haechan trembling under him but didn’t push him away. “So, uh, I guess the feelings mutual.”

Haechan stared at Mark, his eyes wide, mouth agape. Disbelieving his best friend had feelings for him too. The doubt quickly dissipated, and Haechan broke into a cry, hugging Mark tightly around his arms. “I love you.” Haechan declared in between his sobs and snots.

“I love you too, Haechan.”


End file.
